Dogs are boring...

Some of you might think dogs are boring. Some of you might think dogs are lazy, dirty and overall gross. Many dogs are like this. The dogs that live with us, are all of these except for boring. In fact, many times I would like them to take on the trait of boring. But rarely does "boring" happen when I need it to. Like when Ellen and I are about to leave for somewhere or when we are trying to eat dinner or when we're trying to fall asleep. These are the times when dogs should be boring. But they are not.

I blame this late lack of boringness on the fact that homer has not been walked in days. This is due in part to me being out of state and the other part being Iowa's crappy crappy weather. On Thursday, Homies and I went on a great walk around the lake. The weather was a beautiful 40ish. The walking path was finally clear and Homer is finally getting used to other people. Then the blizzard came and brought 7 inchs of snow with it. That has kept us inside the past couple days, that is one of the reasons why these dogs are not boring. And Mervin has ADD. That's probably some of it too.

This week we experienced the depth and breadth of Homer's fear of the entire world. This year for Valentines day Ellen and I stayed in. We decided to make heart shaped pizzas, sip champagne, exchange gifts and watch some movies. On a side note, pick up Kill the Messenger, for a good laugh (not for kids). I have decided that in the end, Homer is scared of heart shaped pizzas. Due to the fact that my pizza, as you can imagine, had an excessive amount of toppings, this caused the fire alarm to go off during the cooking phase. That alarm is so loud, even I wanted to pee myself. But for Homer this was a new terror beyond anything conceivable. I managed to compose myself enough to get the broom to turn off the smoke alarm. But Homies huddled next to Ellen, quivering and shaking. I had never seen anything like it. This is a particularly difficult situation when Ellen is trying to pull large heart shaped pizzas out of the oven. It took about a half hour for homer to settle down. He pretty much spent dinner under the table. In the end he relaxed and had a pleasant evening. Valentine's day concluded with some gift giving. Homer and Mervin wolfed down some hand made treats. They must have been gourmet because the two dogs did not hold back from their refined tastes.

This week I cleaned the bathtub with which we used to clean Homer and Mervin. That bathtub has never entertained so much abuse. There was so much hare and grime and leftover dog, that it took longer to clean the bathtub than it did to clean the dogs. I am pretty sure we are going to have clogged drains in a month or two. Imagine water from a river flood going down our drain, then add a beaver's worth of hair. That is what it was like.

On Sunday Homers got a new bed for the bedroom. His old one saw its demise after a highly escalated wrestling debacle. We felt that bed stuffing might not be a good element in the dogs diet. Now Homer gets his beauty rest on an extra large doggie matress. That should keep him comfy for the rest of the year. In addition to a new bed, Ellen and I got new phones. The dogs are now our official back-drops.

More to come next week. Peace out, Girl Scouts. B-dubs out...