Of dogs and puppies

First off, our house was not quite built for 2 dogs. We pretty much need double the square footage. This morning Homer was chasing Merv out of the living room into the kitchen. As you might guess, a dog trying to stop on a wood floor is like an SUV putting on the breaks in an ice rink. Needless to say Merv went crashing into his bowl and water dish like Friday night at cosmic bowling. I didn't think it was funny at the time, but now that I think about it... Anyway, on to this weeks events.

Homer and I have been pretty much going on a walk every day when it is not 300 deg below zero. Thursday we went on an extra long walk around the lake. Homer thought it was great to see some new scenery. Along our way we saw 13 deer. If you were thinking Homer must have been scared, you thought correct. If you thought I was scared, ... you are correct. Wild animals at night are kinda creepy.

This week we have pretty much established an eating schedule. Merv, eats first and takes about 13.5 secs to finish his bowl. He fits in well with the Smiths. In fact, you would need 3 cups of coffee and a powerbar, to keep up with Merv's pace. He could probably eat Kobiyashi under the table (if they were having a dog food eating contest). So after Merv's gorgefest. He gets thrown outside because of course Merv is not satisfied with his own meal and then its Homer's turn. Homer's eating is like a typical night out with the Wades, widely extended and consistently interrupted. Every time Homer takes a bite, he has to look up to see if something is going on or he does a circle while munching. Also someone needs to be standing next to him, for his fear that the food might eat him. Homer eats like I eat at BWW. He likes to savor every bite. Nothing wrong with that.

The puppy dog wrestling matches have escalated this week. Both have found new tactics to attack/annoy each other. Mervin has used aerial attacks in the past; but, now he has resorted to standing on his hind paws and putting his fronts around Homer's neck. This is similar to submissions only seen in a UFC octagon. Homer has found that Mervin has a turkey neck. So he likes to latch on to Merv and drag him across the room. Though both dogs usually deserve the punishing they give to each other, we are trying to limit the use of both of these new moves. See the video below for a better example.



Joel is not the only one that sees red. Ellen witnessed blood lust Michael Vick style just this morning when the two dogs brought their fighting to a whole new level. There was a lot of very loud angry barking and baring of teeth. Ellen ran for the hills and I had to use my angry grown up voice. Each dog was sent to a different end of the room for time out. Apparently the terse disagreement was over a half used bone. Everyone gets their own bone now and instead of fighting we have musical bones...

Here are some personality traits that we have noticed. Merv brings the definition of brat to a whole new level. You cannot pet Homer without Merv jumping all over you and Homer. Whatever bone Homer has, Merv has to have, hence musical bones. Where ever Homer goes, Merv has to go. Merv is like the sucker fish on the side of the big shark. If you have paid any attention to the survey, Mervin is clearly in the lead for being the most annoying. Homer is becoming increasingly whinny. He will sit in his crook in the couch and make low pitched whines in half hour spurts. Yes, homer has a deeper voice than I do.

(poopwarning) So Mervin has shifted his interest from Homer's poop to his man stream. Yes Merv has literally been pee'd in the face. It is Merv's own fault. It only takes getting pee'd in the face once to realize you don't like it. For Merv, it might take more...(/poopwarning)

Welp, that's it for this week. More stories and pictures next week.

Welcome

Welcome to A Tale of Two Puppies. And by puppies, I mean fully grown dogs. This is a blog dedicated to the appreciation of two of our best friends. For those looking for majestic prose of two cronies embarking on journeys of joy and grandeur, go somewhere else because you are not going to find that here. Nor will you find good grammar, rising stock prices or even truthful stories. Yes, I might make stuff up. More than likely this will be a weekly blog, mainly because the dog life is exciting, but not a daily basis.

Our first pup is possibly the result of a drunken night between a foxy doberman and a randy beagle. This resulted in Kari & Joel's best friend on four legs (besides a crawling Ethan), Homer. Homer is a loving dog who wears his heart on his sleeve and expresses his like (or dislike) for every new person he meets. With the mind of a 30lb dog and the body of an 80lb dog, Homer is a great cuddler. If there is an intruder/any obscure noise around the house, Homer will let you know.

Homer's cohort is Mervin. Merv is a tri-color beagle and the summation of years and years of inbreeding. Decades of energy and stubbornness have been concentrated into one 30lb dog. If Homer lets you know of an intruder, Mervin is the one that will lick the intruder into slobbery submission. Yes, he has an incredibly long tongue and would make Gene Simmons blush.

So to kick off this blog, here is a brief senobsis of what has transpired the past 3 days. Friday, El brought Homer home to Mervin's excitement. Homer is always welcomed by copious licking of the face. They indulged in their regular wrestling matches and then it was time to waive bye to the Bretts. Homers new "safe" zone is the dining room. His kennel is there. It is his place of solitude and meditation when there is someone in the house he does not like.

Speaking of people he does not like, Mollie and John came over that Friday night. By the time Mollie and John left Saturday afternoon, Homer had finally befriended Mollie. John still needs some work.

Saturday brought on a whole new meaning to the song "getting to know you", when Merv proceeded to stick his head in Homer's butt while Homer was doing #2. Now to us humans Homer produces the closest thing to a toxic genocidal biological weapon of mass suffocation, but I guess to Mervin, it was roses. Merv loved it so much he wanted to roll in it before Ellen could yell at him. In future posts I will provide a poop warning to those that want to skip over the poop sections.

Homer and I have gone on 2 walks so far and I hope to continue making this a daily habit (pending weather). We have gone around the neighborhood and tried to go around the lake, but the snow was too deep. Homer likes his new surroundings. He has captured the hearts of a couple waivers. (poopwarning)On Sunday I managed to find the only plastic bag in our collection with a hole in it and yes, I got poop on my gloves. I thought about throwing them out, then decided to attempt to wash them. We'll see tonight. (/poopwarning) Hopefully when the weather gets warm, he can run with me in the morning.

Overall, the addition of Homer has gone relatively smooth. We have gotten him to eat about every morning and night and wrestling goes through its highs and lows. That might take a week or two to get out of their system. Homer has taken to nesting in the corner of the couch and the adomen on my end. He quietly watchs TV with the rest of us, unless he is being pestered by Mervins.

That brings a close to this week's update. I'm sure there will be more excitement in the coming week.